Rubber Duck Nativity Scene

Everything's ducky, here in Bethlehem, from the Holy Family of Mary, Joseph, and the Baby Jesus to the Three Kings bearing rubber gifts. Even a rubber duck lamb (is that like a turducken?) looks on. Nothing says "For Christ's sake..." like a flock of rubber ducks.

Rubber duck Nativity scene
purchased on eBay
December 2008

Chanukah peppermill

I usually don't include kitsch from religions outside the broad spectrum of Christianity. However, this is an exception because of the circumstance in which I found it.

I was shopping in Strosniders Hardware, looking for a small artificial Christmas tree. From a distance, I saw a row of these peppermills, not knowing what they were. My first thought was, "Bunny ears? They've got the Easter stuff out already?"

Not only does this thing grind pepper corns, but the menorah inside a snow globe.

For the record, they have a Christmas version, too.

Chanukah peppermill
Purchased at Strosniders Hardware, Silver Spring MD
December 2008

Dingle Bells, Dingle Bells

What can I say? This tacky treasure speaks for itself. It dispenses small, brown candies from, well, surely you can imagine. That's why it's such a tacky treasure.

See the reindeer in action!
Quicktime Movie; 2.33 MB

Christmas Reindeer
Plastic, with brown candies inside
Courtesy of Kevin Bell, who won the first Tacky Treasures Road Show (2001) with this entry.

Pooping Snowman

Don't let the pure whiteness of this fellow fool you; those aren't snowballs piled up next to him. They are the snowman's equivalent of excrement. If you don't believe me, just check out where they came from.

Pooping snowman
Gift of John Schwab
2006

Santa will be a big hit this Christmas!

Yes, nothing says Christmas like taking a swing at Santa's head with a wooden stick. I found this at an antique store south of Richmond. I'll bet the owner never thought he'd get rid of it. Santa's white beard is kind of yellowed and tattered, like it has been around a long time.

I'll bet someone brought this piñata to a school, thinking it would be a fun treat for the kids, but instead, it made them cry. "Wah!!! We're not going to hit Santa! He brings us presents! Wah!!" And frankly, I don't blame them.

Santa Piñata
tissue paper and papier mache
Purchased February 2004
Richmond, Virginia

The Twelve Tacky Days of Christmas

This is a great sing-along with friends, especially if you have all the actual items to display as you sing the carol.

>> More <<

The Miracle on 34th Street

You stroll down Chestnut Avenue, and take a left on 34th Street, and suddenly evening turns to almost day. The houses are lit, and the street is bustling with people. Maybe it's tacky, but you have to admire the spirit of the folks on 34th Street, who have been doing this for years. Everyone should see this at least once.

My favorites were the Christmas tree made of hubcaps and the sleigh pulled by eight crabs, all carrying tins of Old Bay.

>> More pictures <<

34th Street, Hampden
Baltimore, Maryland

How do you tell that this Santa's embarrassed?

His cheeks are red!

This delightfully tacky Santa was purchased at the Takoma Street Festival in October 2004, from the actual artist. She didn't seem pleased when I pointed out that it was a tacky Santa. She feigned politeness and said, "I like to think of it as whimsical." And yet she has also created an all-feline Nativity scene, which doesn't figure in any theology that I know of. Little did she know that she was receiving a high compliment from me, the Tacky Queen of Silver Spring, if not the world. She'll learn, when all my fans go to her website to order this Naughty Santa.

http://www.whimsicalclaycreations.com/

Humbug

I'm not a Scrooge, really. I just get tired of Christmas carols by Thanksgiving, especially after they've been playing everywhere since right after Halloween. This tiny pin is my quiet protest. It's also an expression of solidarity with people who get Christmas rammed down their throat even if it's not part of their theology.

Christmas is the time of year I like to think about, and to show, how fortunate I feel to have the friends and family that I do. And that's something that anyone can do, regardless of religion.

Humbug pin
Acquired in a thrift store
in Wheaton, circa 1980?