Top
Tacky Treasures
The Mark Eden Bust Developer, the Popener, a rubber band
vest, and more
Nouveau Tacky
Jesus playing football, a Chairman Mao cigarette lighter,
and other delightfully tasteless objects
Tacky Places
Foamhenge, Cooter's Place, Planet Wayside,
and other whimsical places
Tacky Topics
The Tacky Treasures Road Show, Mike the Headless Chicken,
big heads, art cars, salt & pepper shakers, ballerinas abuse
Seasonal Tacky
Naked witch earrings, Love Kubes™, kinky cuffs,
pooping reindeer, Santa piñata, and other holiday treats
Books & Records
Why not eat insects, the Temple City Kazoo
Orchestra, and more
Tacky Links |
Salt & Pepper Shakers I'll Never Use
Aren’t salt and pepper shakers
supposed to improve the taste of food? Then why is it that so many
of them are in such poor taste?
You
and your "once more for old time's sake"
It's not that I find the idea of senior citizens having sex
in poor taste. I plan to stay in the game as long as I'm alive,
and I'm hoping to have a good, long life. But really, this
is simply implausible. Not to mention disrespectful of Grandma
and Grandpa. Ick. |
Salt and pepper shakers with pregnant senior citizen and her
puzzled mate
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Top(less)
Tacky Treasure
This is one of the tackiest things I own. I still can't believe
it is mine. I stare at wonder at the "perkiness"
of these breasts, and am rendered speechless at the utter
tastelessness of the entire object. That quality (or lack
thereof) alone merits the designation of this object as a
tacky treasure.
Amazingly, this only took second place in the 2002 Tacky
Treasures Road Show. Yes, only a banjo
made from a bed pan could be more tasteless. |
Salt and pepper shakers
Painted ceramic with three
strategically placed red rhinestones
Gift of Pat Gill
May 2002
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Salt
and Pepper Shakers
Not just any set of outhouse salt and pepper shakers qualifies
as a tacky treasure. When they come with helpful instructions
such as "Fill-er up with P" and "Fill-er up
with S," then they go beyond your usual outhouse cliché.
Even without the information that the shaker is "full
of P," why would anyone take something that looks like
an outhouse and shake its contents on one's food? It is the
explicitness of the gag (pun intended) that makes it, for
me, a tacky treasure.
Surely the only thing that would make these tackier is to
have the outhouse doors open to show a guy in overalls who
turns and squirts you. But then, where would you put the salt
and pepper? |
West Virginia Souvenir
Salt and Pepper Shakers
Wood, shellac, and paint
Acquired in 1999 from Hess Furniture in Harrisonburg, Virginia
Outhouse Salt and
Pepper Shakers
Acquired September 14, 2002
Elkins (West Virginia) Flea Market
Gift of Jan Westervelt
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Men of Mystery
Who are these two naked people, these two chaps named Billy,
sitting on chamberpots? What is it that the one Billy can
do, that the other can't? Look at the expression of frustrated
concentration on Billykant's face, juxtaposed as it is with
the placid, nay, blissful one on Billykan's. It speaks of
a contrast between a tormented life and one of peace and tranquility.
We know their names, and perhaps the most inimate details
of their toilet habits, but everything else about them is
a mystery. Because although they are clearly meant to serve
as salt and pepper shakers, there is no way to know which
one is supposed to have the freakin' salt! Both have the same
four holes drilled into their craniums, and "Made in
Occupied Japan" stamped in their bases.
I guess it doesn't really matter which has the salt and which
has the pepper. Who, in their right mind, would even use them
for that purpose? I surely won't. I have them displayed in
my bathroom where they belong, along with the other bathroom-themed
salt and pepper shakers I've collected over the years. |
Billykan/Billykan't
salt and pepper shakers
Purchased November 2003
in Gaithersburg, Maryland
(at the same store where I found the Japanese Television Jewelry
Box)
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A Lil Julie Production