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Tacky Treasures
The Mark Eden Bust Developer, the Popener, a rubber band
vest, and more
Nouveau Tacky
Jesus playing football, a Chairman Mao cigarette lighter,
and other delightfully tasteless objects
Tacky Places
Foamhenge, Cooter's Place, Planet Wayside,
and other whimsical places
Tacky Topics
The Tacky Treasures Road Show, Mike the Headless Chicken,
big heads, art cars, salt & pepper shakers, ballerinas abuse
Seasonal Tacky
Naked witch earrings, Love Kubes™, kinky cuffs,
pooping reindeer, Santa piñata, and other holiday treats
Books & Records
Why not eat insects, the Temple City Kazoo
Orchestra, and more
Tacky Links |
"Songs That Will Live Forever --
Hundreds of All Time Favorites"
 The
fun is really in the advertisements. You can skip
to their descriptions below, if you want to.
Dated November, and probably published in 1950, this is a dubious,
yet strangely entertaining magazine. I'm not sure about their choice
of songs. Who can forget "Keep Your Skirts Down, Mary Ann,"
and "(As Long As You're Not in Love with Anyone Else), Why
Don't You Fall in Love with Me?." You can't forget a song you
never knew. And as for the "hundreds" of songs promised,
I counted only 155.
The truly amazing thing about this publication is of that number,
42 have the credit line "Copyright 1950 by Modermusic."
1950 must have been an incredible year for songwriting; like 1939
was for film making. But with writers ranging from Beethoven to
Giuseppe Verdi to Johann Strauss to Stephen C. Foster, Modermusic
must have been a powerhouse of a publishing company.
What you really get with this magazine, in a mere 34 pages, are
just the lyrics crammed into two or three columns per page. There
are also fanzine-style profiles of major songsters of the day: Lena
Horne, Bing Crosby, Betty Hutton, and others.
Despite its shortcomings, however, the advertisements were well
worth the money I spent on this magazine. They make the Harriet
Carter catalog seem progressive.
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Promotes weight gain to add "seductive curves."
The advertising doesn't go into how they control where the
weight gain goes. My experience is that it rarely goes where
you need it. That problem is solved by the product on the
right.
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Promotes restrictive garments to control weight gained by
using product to the left. Clearly, these two products are
offered by companies who are in cahoots to torture women concerned
about their appearance.
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"You have your choice of 5 life-like shades to match
your complexion." People with the other 95 different
shades are out of luck.
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I think chewing gum with an ingredient called "Kelpidine"
would kill anyone's appetite.
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At first, I thought this was a movie promotion for Killer
Bacteria from the Planet Scalp.
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A more worthy product would be one that promises to turn unhappy
people into happy people, regardless of their size.
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September Morn
Here's a floaty pen with an image of a painting called "September
Morn" that caused a scandal in Chicago in 1913. It's
pretty tame, even by 1950 standards. But men are funny (see
below) -- they'll buy anything with a naked lady on it.
Wikipedia
article on September Morn |
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"Men
are funny--you never know whether you're making the right
move or not. Avoid disappointment, heart-break! Save yourself
lot of tragedy! Don't make embarrassing faux pas!"
I know what they mean. Bob's one of the funniest people I
know. I suppose everyone wants to avoid disappointment, heart-break,
and tragedy. But if you don't make a faux pas, how will you
find out if he's the understanding, forgiving sort? It seems
like something you'd want to know.
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These plastic ukuleles are reportedly better than they sound.
The full-sized guitars have been known to be used by well-known
old-time musicians...as canoe paddles.
History
of Maccaferri Guitars |
Another plastic instrument, sure to make you popular with
the opposite sex, especially if they need help breaking their
lease.
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"See how easy it is!"
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A Lil Julie Production